I went off Facebook and this is what happened.

Spoiler alert – I missed out on absolutely nothing.

When I was in college, I used to watch Days of Our Lives, don’t judge me, Bo Brady was hot and you know it.  Once I graduated and went into the workplace, I stopped watching Days, but would still catch it occasionally on a day off.  It usually took all of twenty minutes for me to get up to speed on the storyline even though I was out of the loop for months at a time.  This past February, I decided that I was going to walk away from Facebook for Lent.  I wanted to give up something that was important to me so that it was a meaningful sacrifice.  I deleted the app (not the account) from my phone and went cold turkey on Ash Wednesday.  The thought of being “disconnected” for 40 days was a little scary as I was an avid status post-er (3-4 times per week).  I also had alerts going to my phone whenever there was a comment made on a post or group – imaging Pavlov’s dogs – I would see the alert and open the app.  My husband (a non-Facebook user but Twitter sports whore – that’s a whole different post) would throw the nasty comments my way about “how I care more about Facebook than my family”, and “did I learn that on Facebook”, and “if it’s on Facebook, then it must be real.”  I knew it was an issue and surrendering for Lent was a good way to break the bad, phone-obsessed habit.

I love social media. I love seeing pictures of my friends and their families.  I love witty banter and memes that I can share with my friends.  I love being kept up to speed on neighborhood and school happenings.  I love staying connected to my roommate from college and my friends on opposite coasts.  I love dancing puppies and babies spinning on Roombas.  I love to see where people have traveled, keep up on illnesses and health issues of those that I care about, and enjoy the positivity that shines daily from a community that really cares about each other.  I love that you can reach a big crowd quickly for prayers, use it to fundraise, secure donations, and reach volunteers for people and causes that need support.  I love when we encourage and lift each other up.  I love the stories of good.

What I don’t love is negativity. People bitching about taxes, politicians, how bad the state of Illinois sucks, school districts, and the all-mighty weather.  What I don’t love is feeling that I must acknowledge every picture my “friends” post or there is a perception that I don’t care.  Lack of a “Like” might as well be a bitch slap in some social circles.  I don’t love divisive attacks on people who have differences of opinion.  I don’t love the cattiness, bullying, and constant political debates.  I don’t love 2018 Kardashian baby watch, Stormy Daniels high school photos, and Candy Crush requests littering my newsfeed.  I don’t love feeling attached to people that I really don’t know and spending time investing in other people’s lives, when the fact is, we don’t really know each other!  Facebook for me is a rabbit hole.  One day I had to stop myself when I realized I was looking up my old college roommate’s, husband’s sister – who I NEVER EVEN CARED FOR.  Stop the madness!!!  I am not an investigative journalist, but I found myself playing a game of “how much can I find out” when someone would post another passive aggressive cryptic message.  Who are they?  Why do they feel that way?  All this distraction while my sink is full of dishes and I have eight years’ worth of kids clothing that needs get schlepped to Goodwill hanging out in my basement.

Oh, and Russian hackers really piss me off. I hold corporate grudges because I can choose where to spend my time and money.  I boycotted BP gas stations for 8 years after the Deepwater Horizon oil spill happened and killed the all the ducks in Louisiana.  And that was an accident!  I won’t eat at Chik-fil-A, I only go to Hobby Lobby when I have no other choice, and Wells Fargo can just kiss my ass.  Facebook’s broken security measures, corporate greed, and genuine disinterest in keeping its users informed about breaches in security is truly enough for me to rethink how I interact with this platform going forward.  Sheryl Sandberg should “lean over” and smack Mark Zuckerberg in the head.  But hey, at least he had the decency to trade in his Chucks and t-shirts for a suit while he testified in front of congress about how careless his company is.

I use my social media accounts for specific things. I get my news from Twitter, my laughs from Snapchat, and pics of my friend’s kids from Instagram.  All I get from Facebook is annoyed.

What have I learned from my Facebook hiatus?

A few things; first, that I can’t NOT have a Facebook account. It is woven into society as a major method to share information.  I honestly only “cheated” once during Lent.  There was a day when our local middle school went on soft lockdown (insert fed-up angry eyeroll) and I went into Facebook to see if the district had posted any updates.  Pretty good excuse, right?  I thought God would understand.  What I realized is that even if I don’t want to be on Facebook, I need to be connected into certain groups and understand that this is the primary source for conveying information to the masses.

Second, I found that I had more to talk about when I saw people face to face. We have gotten so accustomed to documenting every place we go and everyone we go with, that we run out of stuff to say when we actually see people in person and find ourselves making conversation by discussing what we saw them post on Facebook. Oy!  I have been to a few parties since my big FB departure, and I have truly seen a difference in the depth of conversation I am having with others.  I’m asking more questions instead of making assumptions and am enjoying their company more because I have no clue what they have been up to.

Last, and the greatest lesson learned, is that IGNORANCE IS BLISS.  That might sound so sad and naïve to some of you, but I have learned that what I don’t know, can’t hurt me, and I’m really quite ok with that.  People having a party and not inviting my kids; I will never see the 104+ photos showing how perfect life is without our family in it.  My mother posting a live video of her feet when she thought she was leaving a comment on her church page; not my cross to bear.  Not being served ads for products I truly don’t need; woot! more money in my pockets.  You get where I’m going with this?  If you don’t know these posts exist, you won’t waste emotional headspace, your precious time, and your money over them. When I think about the amount of time I have spent reading comments on a post that a person I knew in high school 25 years ago put up about her neighbor’s kids’ hockey team, I have to wonder what’s wrong with me.  From the look of my basement (aka the dump), I certainly don’t need to procrastinate any more than I already do.  I’m not suggesting that if you get off Facebook, you will have a clean basement.  I’m actually not suggesting to get off Facebook at all, but just to think about the value of your time and ask yourself if what you are investing it in is paying you the right kind of dividends.

So how do I intend to use Facebook moving forward?

Diligently. I plan to spend some time sifting through all my “liked” pages and removing anything that is not of significant interest to me.  I’m going to go through my “friend” list and unfollow people who are not active participants in my life and unfriend people that I don’t know.  I am going to resurrect my Evite account and use it for upcoming events and party invitations.  I am going to de-activate alerts and limit the number of groups that I belong to.  That should show Mark Zuckerberg who’s boss, right?  Ha, not a chance, but it will give me some of my time back and help me to focus in on the people, organizations, and causes that are truly important to me.

So hello Insta (that’s how the cool kids say Instagram) and welcome back Evite! I can’t promise I won’t share pictures of my smiling kids or a beautiful beach in the future, but I can promise that I will reduce my social media footprint.  Just like sands through the hourglass, Days of Our Lives is still on the air and Stefano is still abducting people and taking them to his secret island (I had to look this up – they actually killed him for real).  I guarantee if I come back to Facebook in a few months, it shouldn’t take very long to get caught up.  Now I need to figure out who organized the lawn aeration in the neighborhood.  I missed it because I wasn’t on FB!