Dissecting the Mom Taxi 

My calendar has a first name, its m-o-t-h-e-r. My calendar has a second name, its f-u-c… Ok, so it’s not the same as the time-cherished bologna jingle that we all know and love, but it is my current reality of being a working mom with two young girls who are involved in a boat-load of activities.

Swim, dance, gymnastics, cheer, Girl Scouts, religious education. Couple those with the school obligations, birthday parties, family commitments, and my own work, social, and volunteer responsibilities and this momma’s calendar looks like one hot mess! Do other people feel like they are always playing beat the clock? I swear my kids have become experts at putting their shoes on in the car while buckling up and eating at the same time. Sometimes I feel like Wonder Woman for pulling everything off without a hitch and making this crazy schedule work and other times I feel like the worst mother in the world for yelling, nagging, and pushing kids out the door and into the car to race to the next place. So why do I do this? Why do I enroll my kids in activities that cause me to run like a crazy person from work to home to wherever they need to be five days a week?

Am I trying to live vicariously through my girls?
Am I meddling in how they form relationships?
Am I trying to be the polar opposite of my mother?

If I am being honest, the answer is probably yes to all three of these questions. I have made some great friendships with other working moms both in my neighborhood and at my kids’ school. We tend to have our kids in a lot of the same activities and lean on each other quite a bit for carpools, class reminders, moral support, etc. The camaraderie with this great group of strong women is unlike anything I witnessed in my childhood. My own mother was not involved in helping me develop a social circle and cement friendships that I have to this day. I was left to figure out many of life’s lessons on my own and became overly trusting of the wrong people. I had a misguided perception of how strong my friendships were and, no surprise, they did not survive into adulthood. I think this may be why I push my girls to engage in activities that have athletic as well as artistic elements, why I have started them young, and encourage them to stick with their choices so they can build solid friendships through these activities that I never had as a kid.

Am I meddling by doing this? Am I changing the trajectory of where their lives would have landed if I didn’t interfere? I don’t know, maybe, but right now, even though I am exhausted, it seems like the right move. I want my girls to be strong and confident, good friends, and above all else, kind and caring people. If pairing them up with other kids whose parents are aligned to my beliefs helps to get them on the right path, then I can live with my meddling.

I think about what they will be like in high school and what kinds of activities will help them grow long-term. Hell, I wish I would have been in cross country and developed a love for running when I was young. Now the treadmill and I have a very love/hate relationship and my backside seems to expand more each time Jimmy Johns delivers to my door. I was involved in activities, but nothing that I loved and had a passion for. As a kid, I did a season of soccer, a baton class, a tumbling class and about four piano lessons. I lettered in two sports in high school, but spent most of my time keeping score. I wish I would have had encouragement to focus on more artistic and creative activities, but hey, who wouldn’t want to be a vertically challenged 5’4” benchwarmer on their varsity volleyball team?

In the words of the Steve Miller Band, time keeps on ticking, ticking, ticking….into the future. I can’t go back and do it all over again, but I can experience the joy on my kids’ faces now even if it results in a crazy calendar. I only have so many years to cherish them before they spread their wings and run screaming to escape me. Let’s hope I can find the balance between spectating and interfering and don’t run out of gas in the process!